The Last Wedding

I have a complicated history with weddings. 

Most [in]famously, was the time I got a black eye the night before my wedding in Italy. But that’s just the chef-d'œuvre in a long line of less-than-respectable wedding performances. There was the time I ushered guests to their seats while clearly inebriated. There was another time I peed from a second-floor balcony into a hotel pool the first night of the weekend. And then there was the time a pregnant Tiffany almost left me in California the morning after blacking out at a wedding.  

Good times. 

Some might say I had a problem. I think I just liked to have fun... maybe a little too much on occasion. Who's to say that’s a “problem”? Celebrating a special life event in a beautiful locale while surrounded by my closest friends just gets me going. That and the open bar.  

Weddings were always a chance to chop it up with the guys again like the good old days, only with nicer alcohol and accommodations. As an only child, my friends are the closest things I have to brothers. Friends are the family you pick. Some people pick that family early in life, some later, but many, like me, found theirs in college.  

I remember being dropped off by my parents during Rice’s orientation week as an innocent, sheltered 18-year-old excited for the college experience. What did that mean for someone like me who grew up as one of the only minorities in a small rural town in New Hampshire, competing in math and quiz bowl competitions, having never been invited to a party or gone on a date? My barely developed brain at that time hoped it meant getting boozed up and having some non-platonic dalliances with members of the other sex. 

The first part was easy. The second not so much. Far from the suave, debonair man with too expensive of a haircut that I am today (jk jk jk), I was an awkward nerd with a bit (a lot) of baby fat who had never spoken to a girl in his life. Luckily, I fit right in with the broader Rice male community. So instead of spending my time charming girls like I hoped, I spent my time with guys... a lot of time with the guys. 

I met most of my closest friends today during those four years at Rice. We did everything together. We went to the gym together. We studied together. We partied together. It was rare to ever see us apart. That’s probably why the luck with the ladies never came. If you could make of list of the top things that would actively repel women, a pack of bros in cut-off tank tops talking about weightlifting while raiding the fruit salad of all its strawberries would be near the top of that list.  

Of course, eventually, that came to an end. We all graduated and headed off our separate ways, embarking on our own journeys and settling in different places around the country. But after graduating, we always made time to see each other. At first, it was trips to get back together and relive our college days. Eventually, it became couple’s trips and then bachelor parties and weddings. We all got to see each other grow up, not just during those four years in college but in the years following. 

For the last decade, weddings have been a staple of the annual itinerary. We were in that season of life.  Every year there were always a few weekends dedicated to celebrating a close friend getting married. Because of that, you could always count on seeing all the guys together once again. Recently, those weddings and bachelor parties became fewer and fewer, replaced by baby showers and birthday parties (the kid’s version). 

Earlier this month, I served as groomsman as one of my closest friends got married. Outside of being the end of his freedom as a single man (😊), it was also the last wedding on our itinerary for the foreseeable future. Nearly all of our generation’s closest family and friends were married with only a few remaining stragglers. By all accounts, our wedding season was over.  

I came across this chart a while back showing who we spend our time with throughout our lives. Time spent with family and friends dominates the early part of it and declines steadily throughout our 20s and early 30s while being replaced with time spent with your partner and kids. Of course, everyone is different. But the fact is, if you’re in your mid-30s with kids, it’s unlikely that your time spent with friends will increase any time soon. But whatever time you can carve out, whether it’s a dinner after work, an early morning tee time, or a quick weekend trip. Make sure you make it count.  

Finally, thank you Jessie and Varun for hosting such a beautiful wedding to cap off our wedding season. It was a perfect weekend and without a black eye in sight.

Here’s to the rest of our lives.